I realize that you spend a lot of your precious time hating the United States of America and everyone in it, so if you don’t mind me taking up a few minutes of your busy schedule, please allow me to introduce myself:

I am American.

It may surprise you, but being born in the United States doesn’t necessarily mean being caucasian.  In fact, the chance of being born white in America is becoming increasingly less likely.  Thirty years ago I was born to a family who over the last 150 years, has slowly but surely crawled away from the lasting vestiges of slavery that still affect people such as myself to this very day.  I have been physically beaten, turned away or fired from jobs, pulled over by the police for no reason while driving or even walking to class, and countless other events that affect my daily life – solely and verifiably because of the color of my skin.

I’d like to think that I’m both intelligent and creative – to be able to think backwards or forwards, micro or macro, logistically or non-sequentially.  I’m well-educated – which means I have some nicely-framed parchment paper hanging from my wall.  Despite any social disadvantages I may have had to deal with, many people provided me with enough window of opportunity to become successful.  Not everyone becomes as lucky as me after working this hard.

Like most people in America, my family does not live in the laps of luxury.  I’m not lazy or obese - I don’t even qualify as fat.  I can't stand McDonalds, nor do I sit in front of the television all day.  I’ve never battled with a Playstation, but do admit to owning a Colecovision in the 1980s (Pac-Man is the shit).  I didn’t get my first automobile until I purchased one at the age of 24.  I don’t own an SUV because they're too ridiculously big for my needs.  Everything that is in my possession I bought myself, including a decade’s worth of university for which I have become monetarily indebted to repay for the rest of my life – just so I could become 'well-educated'.  At least I went to college and completed it.  Though we weren’t rich, we were not dirt poor; I always had a roof over my head and food to eat, missiles never flew over my head and natural disasters never wiped out where I lived.  I have not yet personally experienced mass destruction on any level.  I daily connect to the internet using a high-speed connection without much thought.  Not everybody gets to be as fortunate as this.

So I volunteer much of my time in organizations that assist those worse off than me, not for my own grandeur, for I rarely even admit to doing any of these things - but they're causes I sincerely believe in backing.  I reason that if people gave me a chance to succeed and do what I want, that it is only appropriate to pass that on.  My parents are a shining example of selflessly helping others, and I have some awfully large shoes to fill.  Sometimes I am successful, and other times I fail – but I do what I can, whenever I can.

I am fluent in English, understand some French, but not enough to reasonably pass for anything coherent.  I’d like to become fluent in Spanish and sign language within the next decade.  I’ve only had the opportunity to take a bare glimpse into two other countries – Canada and Mexico, because they’re adjacent to the United States and they’re all I’ve been able to afford.  America is 7,839,347 square kilometers, so it’s difficult to discover most of my own country, let alone somewhere across oceans.  I’ve traveled to as many places as I can, and plan on experiencing many more parts of this world.  In other locations, such as Europe, that many kilometers can cover the ground of an awful lot of nations and societies.  So forgive me if it takes a little while to gather the funds to visit your country.  The ocean is sort of big, and I can’t swim that far yet; but rest assured I intend on getting there.

Because the United States is relatively large - approaching 300 million people in population - our geographic regions, large, small, and in-between, are socially and culturally different from one another.  The number of accents, dialects, and lifestyles has become so many that they are often the brunt of jokes by American comedians.  Anyone who has lived or visited this country and its various regions would immediately recognize this; there are a lot of similarities among us, but there also exists a diverse array of opinions, beliefs, and ways of thinking - probably just like your own country.

These are my opinions: I believe in equal opportunity, not equal result, for everyone.  I think the misnamed majority is nothing more than a rich, powerful minority.  I was one of the 48% of voting Americans that voted against George W. Bush – not that I really believed in the other guys running, but because I think my president is a moron.  If you think that 51% is an overwhelming sweeping majority among 102 million voters, then perhaps you would like to borrow my statistics book (we didn’t even factor in that many of our nation’s poor and disenfranchised do not vote).  Iraq was an obvious mistake from the start, and many of us called it for what it was.  My next car is going to be even more of a gas-sipper than my current one.  I think reality TV sucks.  I think Kobe, R. Kelly, and O.J. all did it.  I measure length in inches and miles, spell colour without the ‘u’, and much to my chagrin, have developed the habit of saying “y’all”.  I think Alicia Keys should give me a phone call sometime.

However, I don’t strut around like I’m a stud because I happen to live in the United States, and I have not made any deliberate choice to make rash judgments about you, because you happen to reside in another country.  I don’t even hate you for having different beliefs than me.  I won’t pretend to understand the intricacies of your political system, your geography or cultures, or any of your people on an individual basis, so I will be the first person to admit that I don’t know who you are.  Nor do I have the audacity to judge an entire nation or the faceless people within it, if I have no clue whom I’m talking about.  I expect the same treatment in return.  It is increasingly apparent that this idiocy shows no discrimination against any nationality, religion, race or creed.  There are as many left-winged morons as there are right-winged.  Osama Bin Laden and Jerry Falwell freely spout their nonsense, and even worse - people follow them.  For every prejudiced white fat American stereotype, there’s an equally stupid individual from your nation who has judged myself and millions of other people just like me.  Unfortunately, it seems that one good lunatic produces another.

Enough is enough.  Though I do not agree with everything about my country, I take pride of where I come from – just like anybody else would from any other nation.  I refuse to sit and accept this sort of attitude within our borders or elsewhere throughout the world.  I make no apologies for being an American, just as I don’t expect you to be sorry for where you’re from.  If you are somehow offended by reading this, then good – you likely deserve to stew in your own juices.  Additionally, if you’ve never been to my country and have these feelings of blind disgust and hatred, you’re just as despicable as those that do it within the United States; so that really doesn’t make you much different, either.

Let's start putting some common sense into practice.  I don’t watch the Fox News Network to get my information about the world, so it’s my hope you don’t watch the same channel to glean information about America.  Since we're both ignorant about each other, it’d be nice if we took real time to get to know one another.  Then perhaps we can start getting somewhere without adding to a world already teeming full with idiots.  You might consider this approach to life being too simple; I say it shouldn’t have to be that complex.  Because if we don’t do things like this, we do stupid things like hijack planes and fly them into skyscrapers, have federal governments that are tardy in aiding tsunami victims, and kill each other in blind hatefulness for people we’ve never met.

I am American and this is a very small part of who I am.  There are millions just like me, and there are millions more who are much different.  Just like your own country, some of us are trying to make this world a better place, and others can’t see further than their own window.  The fact that we come from separate locations with differing socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds will never ever eliminate the basic elements of humanity that drive every single one of us, for better and for worse.

So I present with two choices: you can meet me halfway, make acquaintance, and we can go from there - or you can go fuck yourself.